Passion: An Early Morning Thought

When I like someone, every ounce of their being becomes a passion and an addiction. The long nights skyping and laughing until the sun is peaking through the cracks of the window, glistening in her eyes. The crave to kiss their lips as if your life depends on that final moment. Feeling the uncontrollable urge until you finally fill up your tank with gasoline and drive 10 hours just so you can finally feel how soft their skin is and how those early morning sunrises in her eyes look more breathtaking lying right next to her in bed. The passions you already have in life blossom, as you continue searching for the right person. Love forms from those early mornings where the sheets are tangled and sleepy kisses are exchanged. Love consumes your soul, creating a passion for them that causes you to so blindly do stupid things because they all of a sudden become first in your life. Your passion towards them fuels like the same passion you have towards writing, or sports, or cooking. You drive 3 hours and skip a day’s worth of classes just to take care of them when they’re sick. You drive through a blizzard just because you miss them so much, and they miss you and you feel empty without their presence, the exact emptiness you feel when you give up a life-long dream, or give up doing something you once enjoyed doing. The difference is that love is not a hobby. The passion towards a person you love is more, because as addicting as a hobby can be, when a person you love decides to walk away, it’s out of your control. You don’t get to decide when to re-engage that passion, no you are stuck with the fact that it’s gone despite how much you still crave it, need it. You go through withdrawal symptoms like quitting cocaine without a proper detox regiment. It’s all sudden. It’s all intense. You feel it trying to force it’s way out, and it burns so much through your veins that you have to release it, because if you can just pour out all of the passion coursing through your veins where they once were, maybe, just maybe that passion will finally die and they will no longer live within you. The worst part, is figuring out if that passion towards them will die, or if you will.